So Many Ways To Not Say Anything

by With Iowa In Between

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credits

released August 7, 2018

Engineered, mixed and mastered by Greg Lindholm

Album artwork and design by Alexis Politz

Released by Brace Cove Records, 2018

With Iowa In Between is Bradley Service, Allie Pikala, Sam Stahlmann and Cory Ellliott

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With Iowa In Between Minneapolis, Minnesota

this could be us but you beefin ^._.^= ∫

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Track Name: Billy Hargrove
I think I hate you ‘cause your bad qualities are just like me
You’re so stubborn, you’re so clever, but you can’t always be right
The worst part of it all is you’re oblivious to how you’re perceived
So how can you change?

So I work on myself everyday
My defensive nature—it’s getting in the way

But I’m still trying
I work to get better, to keep it together

I’m working on letting go of my judgments and being open to change
I’m learning how to love myself
I don’t want to explain
That I’m still learning
Track Name: Phone Home
I can’t look at you without smiling, without remembering
So much has changed in such little time but I think she’d be proud of who we’ve become

And looking back, we should’ve known that we’d grow because things never stay the same
But that doesn’t change what we’ve gone through—climbing trees, building forts, and moving out on our own

Your shadow never changed while we grew up too fast
A constant reminder of all the years gone past

And looking back, we should’ve known that we’d grow so close

I try to recall all the things that we have gone through—like getting high for the first time
And all the hard times too—like being there when your mom died
I guess certain things stick out more in my mind
Track Name: Victoria
I won’t leave my bed
I'll just stay inside my head

From the kitchen, I see a stick in your left hand
You’re battling all the bad guys that you can imagine
The tall grass is hugging your ankles
I'm a sorry excuse and that's what keeps me from you

And I'm busy throwing my guts up in the sink
I’m turning all of these lights off for the night and it’s harder than you think
I can't sleep and I don't want to eat
This devil is something I'm afraid I cannot beat

These plants in the window, they’re easy to love
They don't need much except for the water above and a little sunshine when I'm brave enough
You don't sit on my lap much these days
What is a mother when she's not there for her children?

I'm afraid that you'll grow up and inherit these demons from me
I watched your father teach you love, but what will you learn from me?
All I wanted to do was build a home for you but I can't leave my bed

All this time I've watched you grow
Given up on myself, but I want you to know
Though I may seem distant, I may drift away
My heart is a house where you can stay
I may not have done all that I could do
But I swear inside, that I held a home for you

I lose sleep thinking of all the ways I could fail you, oh god I failed you
How can I convince you to smile when I struggle to fake one?
Is it fair to cry only when you’ve left the room?
Should I lie to you? Should I lie to you?
Track Name: What Should Be Left Alone
I feel whole when I’m helping you out
You’re too hard on yourself
You think you’d be better off in the mud but that won’t happen while I’m around
And I’m overwhelmed

I push my feelings to the side to help the ones I love
But I feel drained

And I try hard to let it go, to block out what you’re feeling
And I try hard to let it go, but I’ll keep helping you
It’s all I’ve ever known

I need a line, a decided point in time to tell me when to let it go
‘Cause I can’t seem to separate your feelings from my own
What should be left alone?
Track Name: Yeah by Usher
I ask “do you ever hate yourself?”, he says “no” then asks “do you?”
(I guess it never really hit me, to live more before I’m dead and gone)

I didn’t think I’d have to explain, he must live without monsters in his brain
(It’s not like it is in the movies, no light bulb suddenly flashing on)

And it's a goddamn mess, this growing older process
I try to be okay knowing I never could explain who I am
‘Cause I keep trying to be better
I swear I'm trying to be better

I’m knee deep in my own head again
And we’ve been getting sick just for the hell of it
It’s okay for now, that these growing pains are stacked on my back

It’s a goddamn mess, but what did we expect?

And it's a goddamn mess, this being happy process
Relying on prescription pills to fix broken connections
I don’t cry all the time, but I don’t always feel alright
So I try to be alright

So I've decided this year that living is better than dying

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