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Stifled We Grow

by With Iowa In Between

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    Comes on recycled cardboard that's been hand stamped by the band. Artwork by Athena Jones.

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Cassette tapes printed on hand stamped, recycled cardboard. Artwork by Athena Jones. Four different color choices -- smoky black, teal blue, purple, bright pink. The album plays through on both sides. Includes digital download.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stifled We Grow via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
We could turn this out The house won’t burn down But your thoughts are not your own They’re just others’ that you found I don’t wanna go back And I don’t wanna bear the weight ‘Cause I’ve found you out You’ve confirmed my doubts I need to drown you out of my head. Some things are better left unsaid. You always spoke so loud about the way you felt But I bit my tongue, kept it to myself So tell me again what you saw in me ‘Cause I became worse with you around Became worse with you around Is there anything I can keep of us that will last? Forgive, forget, do we forego the past? Struggling with the here and now I find comfort in the past In that out of tune piano Falling asleep on your couch Even the layout of your house Was it ever this simple? Am I making this up? The years since then have become minutes And if only I’d turn around I’m sure you’d be standing there I’ve held that memory close But I’ve kept it dusty to hide the truth ‘Cause I’ve learned with you that things fade to grey That’s another way of saying it died and decayed Every fight, blood spilled is nothing gained But we grow Stifled we grow And I know we won’t take back anything Still we grow Stifled we grow
2.
Aidan 03:04
You sleep in my arms, reaching your fists to the ceiling I wonder what you’re dreaming of Your tiny hands grasp around my finger Don’t be scared to cry. Don’t be scared to love. It’s what we’re all made of. If the world stays the same And you’re told to be ashamed I want you to say no even if you’re afraid We act like the worst thing you can be is a girl I hope I can teach you to break the rules Is this the only time you’ll let me hold your hand? Are there only precious moments left before you start becoming a man? Am I wrong to think that I can change that? Will I ever understand?
3.
Shoebox 05:01
Moving on You can still pretend I’m staying But I’m gone The apathy brought atrophy So I’m done In a shoebox I set fire to old hearts Moving on I can’t find a home Don’t feel like I belong Will the next step be the one I need? Will my hands stop shaking? Will my brain stop craving? You were always kinda there Not around, but enough to keep me safe I never thought to question What would happen should I wait Long enough for this to circle to the start Long enough for this all to fall apart Will the next step be the one I need? Will my lungs remember to breathe? Will my feet concede? What will I find? I always have to be on the move You've been taking up too much space For me to have my dreams and worries What will I find? Happiness comes only in moments Short decadence, not permanent You didn’t see me until I was gone You didn’t see me until I was gone. What will I find? I think I’ll always be on the move You’ve been taking up too much space For me to make my own damn mistakes What will I find? Happiness is only a temporary Consequence of circumstance You’ll have to find it somewhere else, I’m…
4.
Guilt 04:32
The weight stacks on I’d like to say I’ve learned something but I can’t Wearing false ambition like an anchor on my back And I don’t wanna admit this But I still don’t get this Fear in me lingers It scratches with fingers to bone I should’ve left it alone And you say this won’t change anything. I guess I didn’t realize I wanted you to say Just that you were proud of me (because you know me better than I know myself) They provided the anchor (now I won’t come home) But it was me that bought the rope (until I know that I’ve done well) Tied myself to the side of someone else’s hopes And now I’m treading as I choke. But I was wrong There’s always calm before a storm I’ve tried staying calm for seven years And I’m still so lost Now I’m stuck here Waiting for some kind of change Nothing to my name It’ll all just stay the same Until I believe in anything
5.
Lie In Wait 04:51
Maybe you’ve been lying in wait for me to find you Could’ve been years that you gestated Feeding off the scraps that make up your nest Or an overnight phenomena Where you burst into being Either way you’re here now A guest in my childhood home Taking my father without permission If I had space underneath my bed Would you live there? If I had space inside of my lungs Would you grow there? Would you find your way in? If I had said you’d never take me alive Would you win? This house is filled with ghosts Not just this room anymore They go where they please Just taking what they need I’m not afraid of them It’s the sickness that takes everyone And my father I won’t let it run me out No, not this time. I put you out on the curb with the trash Watch you disintegrate In the rain your reign will end You’ll wash away In the night when the silence of his sleep is pierced by your presence The only way you will fade is by taking everything with you I am still a young boy I am still afraid Have been for years now But I am here to stay (I am still a young boy, I am still afraid Have been for years, but I am here to stay) I’ll always grab that glass of water in the dead of night Not knowing who or what may lie in wait You’re not going anywhere so neither am I These memories will force you into the morning light
6.
My thoughts and I never seem to rest (You can hear the madness in my chest) My mother taught me how to guilt My father taught me how to hold it in (So now I’m letting it out) I guess it is what it is I’m looking back on what I’ve become. Yeah, it all goes back to how I was raised They also taught me how to be a friend And to not be ashamed One day you wake up And you realize you’re not a child But you’re not ready to be on your own I’m scared of being alone. (The night I drove myself home) I’ve been thinking a lot About what it means to be alone I’ve been thinking a lot About what it means to be alive I don’t want my life to add up to nothing I just want to be something I just want to mean something I don’t wanna be alone anymore. When did we have to change? Where was the time to decide these things? Was it always just eventually? My lungs kept growing with no room to breathe

about

all music written by with iowa in between
wiib is:
bradley service, allie pikala, sam stahlmann and cory elliott

credits

released October 20, 2016

recorded, mixed and mastered by knol tate in minneapolis, mn

album artwork by Athena Jones

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With Iowa In Between Minneapolis, Minnesota

2012-2023

DIY is 4ever

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