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lyrics

I won’t leave my bed
I'll just stay inside my head

From the kitchen, I see a stick in your left hand
You’re battling all the bad guys that you can imagine
The tall grass is hugging your ankles
I'm a sorry excuse and that's what keeps me from you

And I'm busy throwing my guts up in the sink
I’m turning all of these lights off for the night and it’s harder than you think
I can't sleep and I don't want to eat
This devil is something I'm afraid I cannot beat

These plants in the window, they’re easy to love
They don't need much except for the water above and a little sunshine when I'm brave enough
You don't sit on my lap much these days
What is a mother when she's not there for her children?

I'm afraid that you'll grow up and inherit these demons from me
I watched your father teach you love, but what will you learn from me?
All I wanted to do was build a home for you but I can't leave my bed

All this time I've watched you grow
Given up on myself, but I want you to know
Though I may seem distant, I may drift away
My heart is a house where you can stay
I may not have done all that I could do
But I swear inside, that I held a home for you

I lose sleep thinking of all the ways I could fail you, oh god I failed you
How can I convince you to smile when I struggle to fake one?
Is it fair to cry only when you’ve left the room?
Should I lie to you? Should I lie to you?

credits

from So Many Ways To Not Say Anything, released August 7, 2018

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With Iowa In Between Minneapolis, Minnesota

2012-2023

DIY is 4ever

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