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1.
I saw you at some bar with a girl around your arm I wanted to shout “girl, you better run” She doesn't know what you'll put her through, not like I do She doesn't know she'll be embarrassed Surprised by all your actions Play your game, you gotta have it Yeah I’m still trying to figure out what exactly went on You tried to keep me from all my friends, but look who made it in the end It's not my fault, I know that now No matter what you said out loud I have to admit I still have thoughts of breaking all your bones Yeah I’m still trying to figure out what exactly went on I have to admit I still have thoughts of breaking all your bones I want to break all your bones I saw you at some bar with a girl around your arm So I told her, girl move the fuck on It’s not as good as breaking all your bones But at least your bed stays cold
2.
Polka Dots 03:28
This morning I put on the clothes that I wore when we met The shorts you said I looked really good in The polka dot shirt revealed my belly button They were too tight Distant memories of another life I don’t know why I should just try to pack them up, give them away But I don’t, and I won’t I still hold on to the possibility that maybe one day they’ll fit me A small reminder of you and the closeness that I felt I guess these shorts they make it real They were too tight And it doesn’t feel right anymore I packed them up in a small box with all the memories I have of you
3.
Cancer 03:51
When my grandpa died of lung cancer I told myself I’d never fall in love with a smoker But here we are and there you are Clenching my fists in my pockets I try to be aware of it Let go of the tension Clenching my fists in my pockets It’s a bad habit There’s always been a little self destruction in my blood Maybe that’s why I like getting choked when we Biting my tongue in the moment I try to be aware of it Let go of the the words I’m holding back Biting my tongue in the moment Bleeding is a habit And I wonder if I could ever understand myself or anybody else But the man on the moon taught me that you cannot live lawlessly Without hurting the ones you love I don’t wanna hurt no one
4.
I’ve been trying not to cry in my car anymore Cuz it’s dangerous for other cars on the road And it’s not fair to them But the sound of metal collapsing is tempting If I were in the hospital for weeks, no one would expect anything from me And maybe I could get the help that I need Just another stupid thought for the day And I know that it’ll go away If I shove it down far enough Cuz I’ve had to prove that I’m so tough My whole life I’ve traded flowers for thorns Just hoping that someone was keeping score And maybe they could stick around and help me plant seeds in the ground I don’t know why I’m so terrified of life Just another stupid thought for the day And I think that it’ll be ok If I can keep it all inside Cuz I’ve learned it’s easier to hide I try to rewrite the wires of my brain but nothing seems to change It’s the same old refrain Just another small step for the day Cuz I wanna start to feel okay No more hiding from the ones that I love I just have to trust that I’m enough
5.
Constantly 03:38
I think of you every January I just hope you’re happy Left my body, left my sight I slept alone that night Nine months you lived inside me I keep you there to hold you closely secret, safe, a piece of me I can’t erase I heard you I feel you I see the evidence on my skin Your face, your name, your smile I can only imagine I made a choice, you never knew me We started our own families Miles away, I’m left to wonder Will I ever be your mother? I think of you every day I just hope you’re okay Forty years you lived inside me I keep you there but tell my story
6.
Inchworm 02:24
I’ve been feeling like an inchworm but I just wanna run My work is never done, I want to change my ways I wanna speak to you and feel like I can tell my truth I wanna hold my ground even when it’s not profound What do we have now? I can’t speak and I don’t think you can hear me Get me out of this mess that I did not agree to I’ve been screaming out loud and still I can’t be found It’s just always been this way, my knees they end up scraped and I’m the one whose blamed Am I the one to blame?
7.
You feel so lost, yeah you “don’t know what to do” But you keep booking shows where everybody looks like you And I’m getting sick of it Teaching you gender politics when you don’t even give a shit You’d never stand front row at my shows I think it'd break your cool guy code I try to remember that it’s not for you So what am I still trying to prove? I feel so lost and nothing I push for changes It’s like I’m showing up without an invitation Beating my head against the wall trying to rearrange it Trying to find representation We all need space and so many don’t fit in the one that's been created So it might be time for you to make some room We all feel lost, but we’re finding something new And we’ll keep booking shows that break your cool guy code Fuck your cool guy code
8.
Slouching 04:08
Things keep falling apart like the mug your mother made I try to keep my head up but my posture’s not that great So what happened to our friendship? And why do I always feel like shit? I’ve tried to be the glue for so long but I can’t be that fucking strong I’ve got to let go of this feeling of control I just hope that when I die It’s on my own time What doesn’t kill you Well, it still tried I hope that when I die I’ll have felt alive Everyone seems to be moving on I’m so scared of what happens when they’re gone
9.
Woods 07:15
Today I went into the woods to find some comfort or peace I didn’t find it but at least I tried I tried I wanna cut off all my hair (I think I’ll try maybe trying) I wanna swim and never stop (Never mind, I wanna slow down) I wanna hug all the people that I’ve lost (Just leave me alone, I care too much) It’s my anxiety getting the best of me (It’s just anxiety) It’s my anxiety getting the best of me Will I make peace with my fears? Will I find anything worth finding here? I want to get up and go but where am I going? I can never run fast enough to get away from myself Today I went back to the woods to see if I could breathe freely But I stumbled and couldn’t find my air I often wonder, why are we here? I tried // I kept going back to the woods It’s hard to explain what I found It’s better to be lost in the trees Floating along in the breeze It’s been quite a while since my world came crashing down The only constant I’ve found is the dirt on the ground I like to go out in the woods and sing to all the birds Even when things get tough, they make me feel heard I realize I am part of this And nothing at all

credits

released July 28, 2023

All songs written by With Iowa In Between

With Iowa In Between has been Alexis Politz, Brad Service, Coco Elliott, and Sam Stahlmann

Allie Pikala is featured on "Constantly" and was instrumental in creating this whole album

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Abe Anderson at Cloud Factory in Cannon Falls, MN

Album artwork by Alexis Politz

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With Iowa In Between Minneapolis, Minnesota

2012-2023

DIY is 4ever

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